2020 Holiday Gift Guide for the Lawyers in Your Life  

Wolf Konstant | 12.14.20

by Wolf Konstant

The holidays are here! Which means that the attorneys in your life will soon expect you to bestow gifts upon them, even though they make $200,000+ and don't like anything.

A quick Google of "gifts for lawyers" only returned lists that are chronically lame (sorry, no one wants a bowtie with scales of justice printed on it), so we decided to throw our hats in the ring and make what we see as the ultimate 2020 Gift Guide for Lawyers.

These gifts are elevated, personal, and sure to be a hit -- even with the most difficult of lawyers.

*the fine print: we don't make any money if you buy from these links. We wish we knew how to monetize this but unfortunately we're not as savvy as those Instagram influencers are.

 

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For the associate working on his or her millionth debt finance transaction of the year:

 

This silk pillowcase is the ultimate luxury cover for the pillow that they scream into.

All natural and hypoallergenic, it won't leave marks on their face after repeated use.

$69.95 from Blissy

 

 

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for the attorney with that client from hell (which is most attorneys):

 

This Ouija board will help bring levity as they search for answers for their most insane client's unanswerable (and endless) questions.

Sure they may be communicating with demons, but isn't that all in a day's work?

$1995.00 from Moda Operandi

 

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For the In-House Counsel Who's Sick of Everyone Thinking of Them as a "No" Person:

 

This sweater will let them say what they've been dying to say all year: "YES"!

(But don't worry, the back says "NO," because they will still have to be the adult in the room... as per usual.)

£199.00 from Jumper 1234

 

 

 

 

 

 

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For the counsel who's just been told they're "going to have to wait another year" to be considered for partner:

 

Stylish vintage brown leather makes this heavy bag blend right into their home office so no one on their Zoom calls will even question why they need something to punch.

For extra points, be sure to include a printed photo of the Managing Partner who decided to make them wait even though their book is twice the size of that idiot who did make partner.

$299.00 from Modest Vintage Player

 

 

 

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For the workaholic partner whose stress Level is through the roof:

 

They won't have to stop their doc review or conference calls while they sweat it out in this Personal Sauna from Sharper Image. 

Snuggies are such a plebeian option for warming yourself with your hands free. Do you really think a partner wants a gift that could be described as "plebian?"

$299.99 from Sharper Image

 

 

 

Screen Shot 2020-12-14 at 1.14.45 PMFor the FinTech attorney who's Always Trying to Keep ahead of the trends:

 

Give them this coin necklace, but keep the chain at first and tell them it's a new type of cryptocurrency called LumpCoin. 

You can finally give them the chain after they've spent a while scouring the internet looking for ways to buy up more LumpCoins. They won't mind because it actually is a very stylish necklace.

$219.00 from Missoma

 

 

LampuFront-OrangeBGFor the litigator who hasn't left his or her house for months because they're reviewing thousands of pages of documents:

 

Just because they haven't seen the sun for weeks doesn't mean they should have to suffer from a Vitamin D deficiency.

With this 5,500k sun lamp, the only thing left disrupting their Circadian rhythm will be the partner who calls them at 3am. 

$59.95 from Circadian Optics

 

 

 

 

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For the Attorney Who's Thinking about going In-House for the First Time:

 

Legendary interior designer Axel Vervoordt shares his favorite Wabi interiors from around the world. "Developed in the twelfth century, Wabi advocates simplicity and humility, the rejection of all that is superfluous or artificial."

The pay-cut that comes with going in-house will mean that they're going to have to get used to rejecting "all that is superfluous or artificial." But at least they'll have their weekends back!

$59.89 from Abe Books

 

 

 

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For the associate who's worried about going back to the office and those long nights away from home:

 

They've been spoiled during the pandemic with the ability to actually sleep in their own bed. 

This top of the line sleeping bag is a great way to ease them back into catching some zzz's at their desk. They'll be so comfortable that they'll only barely miss the presence of their significant other.

$349.95 from Big Agnes

 

 

 

 

 

960x0And, if all else fails....

 

Just give them cold, hard cash. It's the one thing we know all lawyers love.

 



 

Corporate Counsel (M&A) @ Better.com

PropTech Leaders

Counsel, Legal & Business Affairs @ Global Entertainment Agency

The Fashion Crowd

In House M&A Counsel @ Top Private Equity Fund

In House Without the Pay Cut

Associate General Counsel, Product and Regulatory @ Intersection of FinTech and PropTech

You're #1!

Associate General Counsel @ Late-stage Industry Disruptor

Very Tech-y

Product Counsel @ Blockchain Platform

The Solution

Commercial Counsel @ Healthcare Data Startup

Fight Diseases with Data

Director, Legal & Business Affairs @ Digital Entertainment Leader

Primetime!

Corporate Counsel @ Alternative Investment Platform

Democratizing Investments

Deputy General Counsel - Corporate Development & Governance @ Heavy-hitting Unicorn

IPO Bound

Commercial AGC @ Iconic Fine Jewelry Brand

Put a Ring On It

Sr. Corporate Counsel @ OwnBackup, high-growth data techco

SaaS in Hypergrowth Mode

1st Legal Hire @ Alpaca - Series B FinTech

You're #1!

M&A Counsel @ Tech-y Venture Capital Fund (Portuguese Speaker)

VC is Heating Up

AGC, Payments Product Counsel @ FinTech "Unicorn"

Parlez vous MTL, KYC, & AML?

M&A Counsel @ Tech-y Venture Capital Fund

Unicorn Hunters

Private Funds Counsel @ Private Equity & Venture Capital Group

Break into VC

M&A Transactions Counsel @ Private Equity & Venture Capital Group

The Mathletes of PE

Commercial Counsel @ Video Gaming Unicorn

Ready Player One?

Litigation Counsel @ International Gaming Company

Rarer than Rare

Corporate Counsel, Tech & SaaS @ Social App

Put Yourself Out There

Corporate M&A Counsel @ E-Commerce Unicorn

Career Launcher

Data & Product Counsel @ Zocdoc

First Name in Health-Tech

Legal Counsel @ The Hut Group (Beauty & Wellbeing E-Commerce)

Bevy of Beauty

Life Sciences Associate @ Top Startups Firm

The Antidote to Big Pharma

Associate Attorney @ Leading Investment Firm

For the Apex Preditors

Corporate Counsel @ Pharmaceutical Heavy-Weight

Hard Sciences Background not Required

General Counsel @ FinTech SaaS Startup

Go Digital

VP of Legal @ E-Commerce Consumer Lending Platform

Add to Cart

CFIUS Compliance @ Elite Tech Client

More Glamorous than Government

Emerging Companies Associate @ Elite Startup-Focused Firm

Keep EC/VC Weird

Futures Trading Compliance @ Crypto Trading Platform

The Brand Name in Crypto

Switch to FinTech from Finance @ AmLaw 100 Law Firm

FinTech Fix

Emerging Companies Capital Markets Associate @ Startups Focused Firm

Pivot to Cooler Clients

Senior In-House Counsel @ Digital Health Leader

Not Your Grandma's Healthcare

In-House Commercial Transactions Attorney @ Digital Health Leader

Healthcare Meets Tech

In-House Life Science Corporate Counsel @ Pharmaceutical Company

Future of Pharma

Exclusive: ECVC Associate at Elite Firm's LA Office

Best Partner Opportunity in SoCal

Program Lawyer / Event Content Director @ TechGC

By GCs, For GCs

In-House Corporate Counsel at Venture Fund

VC Meets FinTech

Startup & Media Associate @ Arts & Entertainment-Focused Boutique

Très Chic

Director of Business & Legal @ Media Streaming Company

Binge Worthy

Privacy Counsel @ International Gaming Company

The Next Big Thing in Gaming

IP & Tech Litigation opp at a Silicon Valley tech Firm

The Move Before You Go In House

Privacy Partner @ Bay Area AmLaw 50 Firm

Plug and Play

Biotech Late Stage/Cap Markets Partner

Use Your Expertise

In-House FinTech Bankruptcy Counsel

Can bankruptcy lawyers go in-house? YES!

Senior In-house Counsel @ Edgy FinTech Shop

Global Platform

The Right Bankruptcy & Reorganization Practice For You

Restructuring Your Own Career

Partner Recruiting Coordinator @ Whistler Partners

The Good Life

Legal Recruiter

New York or Los Angeles

 

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